Tags: thought

2012

the beauty of senses



i was just pondering how all the physical, hedonist pleasures that i'm able to enjoy make me feel, well . . . ableist. not in a guilt-complex way, but more just of genuine wonderment. and it gets me thinking about how different the experience would be if there were sensations removed or added. for people that cannot hear or cannot see (for instance), it seems like me more than anything a failing on my part at least equally, for not being able to grasp another means, another sensation, for communicating and interacting with them.

and then, on somewhat of a philosophical layer, what are chances that someone with no sight would understand what it is, just by explanation via some other sense? i really want to understand this. what if everyone else on the planet has nine senses, and i just don't understand those ones i'm "missing", so there is no possible way for anyone to communicate that to me(?) if so, i'm leading a vary different, ignorant life. i probably am. different from everybody else's, but no better or worse in any real defineable way. except, of course, that people get treated differently (read: worse) because of when differences are tangibly sensed by a majority of others. to create a pecking order.

ok, my ponderings are turning sad now, so i'll think more about this later . . .
  • Current Music
    A Tribe Called Red, "Good To Go"
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2012

time stood still

i've missed all the chances to say what i really want, what i really mean, and come off as genuine and sincere. sometimes purposely. mostly of inaction plain and simple. if i don't move, inertia will not guide me down the wrong path, and for this fear of failure i am doomed to the impotence of indecision. at some point it mattered to me enough to hate myself for it, to beat myself up for it, to feel the guilt mixed in with the shy, antisocial demeanour. over the course of time, it gradually ceased to matter enough to get me riled up inside. in true meta-paradigm fashion, my problem contributed to the negation of my problem. now instead of thinking what if..., i just smile to myself. what if time stood still? but oh, it does.